How Can You Truly Love Someone and Get True Love in Return?

The Secret to Life

This post is inspired by a comment (by Ret) to the following post by Alex Blackwell: The Secret to Life in One Sentence or Less

Here’s the comment:

The secret to life is the one thing that we can hardly do – loving. Love is easier said than done, and to do love is a great secret in terms of reality. Love gives life, and will give eternal life. So my secret to life is true loving.

(By: Ret)

I love these words. Now the question is: What is True Loving?

Before I answer this question, I want to ask a question from you…

What is the Purpose of Life?

What is our purpose here in this world? Why this world is created?

I know every person may have a different point of view. Here’s my point of view:

This world is a learning as well as a testing place. It’s a sort of a class room where we learn and give a test at the end of semester depending upon the lessons we learnt.

The biggest lesson that can be taught in this life is none other than:  How to Love?

And the biggest test is: Whether Your Love is True or False?

An Example of True Love

Let me give you an example here from Florence Shinn’s excellent book “The Game of Life and How to Play It“:

A woman came to me in deep distress. The man she loved had left her for other women, and said he never intended to marry her. She was torn with jealousy and resentment and said she hoped he would suffer as he had made her suffer; and added, “How could he leave me when I loved him so much?”

It doesn’t matter whether you are a man or a woman, tell me your response if anything like that happens to you?

1. Would you be filled with anger, jealousy and resentment?

2. Would you try to take revenge?

3. Would you forgive? What would you do?

Take time for the answer, may be 1 or 2 minutes and then come back…






So you are back with your answer. What’s your answer?

I’m not a mind reader but your answer may be any one of the 3 options I gave above. Is it so? Yah, I know it depends upon how much you loved the other person. Isn’t it so the more you love someone the more you are hurt by someone’s betrayal? Isn’t it so the more you love someone the more hatred you feel in your heart by the betrayal? I remember a woman who even burned the bed on which her husband slept with her when he left for another woman. But by burning that bed could she burn the love or hate in her heart as well? NO. It’s an extreme example but in love or hate anything is possible. People even kill for love and even do suicide…

What would you do?

Now I would like to mention Florence Shinn’s advice to that lady. Listen carefully:

You are not loving that man, you are hating him, and added, You can never receive what you have never given. Give a perfect love and you will receive a perfect love.
Perfect yourself on this man. Give him a perfect, unselfish love, demanding nothing in return. Do not criticize or condemn, and bless him wherever he is.

That’s called True Love. Bed burning was not, it was hate. That woman “never truly loved” her husband.

Hate begets* Hate as Love begets Love.

Remember True Love is always UNCONDITIONAL.

You have to give true love first in order to receive it.

This life is a test – Before you fall in love with someone remember you’ll be tested for the truth. If you stand steadfast in the path of love you’ll get your reward. It’s the greatest reward a person gets. The reward may be the same person or someone better than him or her.

So what happened with the lady who followed Florence Shinn’s advice?

Here’s the rest of the story:

Several months passed, and matters remained about the same, but she was working conscientiously with herself. I said, “When you are no longer disturbed by his cruelty, he will cease to be cruel, as you are attracting it through your own emotions.”

Then I told her of a brotherhood in India, who never said, “Good Morning” to each other. They used these words: “I salute the Divinity in you.” They saluted the divinity in every man, and in the wild animals in the jungle, and they were never harmed, for they saw only God in every living thing. I said, “Salute the divinity in this man, and say, ‘I see your divine self only. I see you as God see you, perfect, made in His image and likeness.'” She found she was becoming more poised, and gradually losing her resentment. He was a Captain, and she always called him “The Cap.”

One day, she said, suddenly, “God bless the Cap wherever he is.”

I replied: “Now that is real love, and when you have become a ‘complete circle,’ and are no longer disturbed by the situation, you will have his love, or attract its equivalent.” I was moving at this time, and did not have a telephone, so was out of touch with her for a few weeks, when one morning I received a letter saying, “We are married.”

At the earliest opportunity, I paid her a call. My first words were, “What happened?”

“Oh,” she exclaimed, “a miracle! One day I woke up and all suffering had ceased. I saw him that evening and he asked me to marry him. We were married in about a week, and I have never seen a more devoted man.”

There is an old saying: “No man is your enemy, no man is your friend, every man is your teacher.”  So one should become impersonal and learn what each man has to teach him, and soon he would learn his lessons and be free. The woman’s lover was teaching her selfless love, which every man, sooner or later, must learn.

That’s the way it works…

Give True Love – Receive True Love…

It’s easier said than done. Do you want to discover the ways you can get True Love in your life with mathematical accuracy and protect Your Love Relationships? Get The Sacred Seduction.

*Begets: To cause.


  1. hi,

    For me I would forgive and forget him. If you still hate that certain it only means that you’re still in love with him and that is the reason why you you’re still hating that person because you still love him.
    And I agree with what you are saying that ” you can never receive what you have never given”.

  2. Hello,

    Thank you for your visit and for your precious comments. There’s something that I need to mention here that may benefit the readers. Usually in broken relationships or even in our day-to-day business/job/family related dealing we keep on accumulating emotional baggage.

    Emotional baggage? Negative trapped emotions of sadness, anxiety, revenge, hate…

    This emotional baggage accompany us even if we say I forgive that person. How can we really say that we have forgiven such and such person? Sometimes forgiveness is almost impossible. Can somebody forgive rape, murder…?

    How do I deal with such kind of situations? If you’ve asked this question say 1 year ago my answer would be different but now here’s what I do:

    Just recently I worked for somebody for almost 15 days… he didn’t pay me for my work…

    I didn’t say I forgive you. If I said that it would mean you did something wrong to me for which I forgive you. I said (of course in my heart) I love you even more than before. And I said to God: O’God please take away any sorrow, anger, hate, tension, anxiety… any negative trapped emotion that got trapped inside me due to his actions and set me free. I love that person irrespective of what he did to me.

    I felt light after that and almost within a week got more money from another project.

    1 more thing, next time when we saw one another I found guilt in his eyes, but I was cheerful and even passed a smile as if nothing happened (in fact I was happy from within as God took my burden.) We didn’t talk but I knew God did some magic for me…

    • It’s just an update to my above reply that I posted 2 months earlier. That person for whom I worked for 15 days just came to my office out of the blue and paid the remaining amount. He just said there was a confusion on his behalf. Amazing…

  3. if u truely love that person u will let your anger go becouse at the end u are left alone with your anger.

    • 100% Agreed. My point of view is (of course everybody has the right to disagree): Anger/hate and love cannot co-exist in the same heart.

      If someone says to me that he loves so and so person but hates so and so person, I conclude that his love is not real or it’s in its infancy. True love is something that cannot be changed by anything. I say this by my experience.

      If I truly loved a girl say 20 years ago and that girl leaves me for someone else, I still love that girl. Although I never look back in my tracks, yet in my heart I still love her and I don’t have even a speck of anger against her. If it’s not the case then our love was not true. I do have a feeling that same goes with her. Sometimes in our lives we become so helpless…

      It’s only after you remove the last speck of hate/anger/envy… from your heart against anyone, your real love story begins – exactly from that point your last love story ended…

  4. We found each other and, suddenly, we knew for SO sure that we are each other’s for like… The love of our lives. We had the happiest days of our lives and, suddenly, we fell apart. For some cruel reason of fate… Or whatever it was, we broke up. I broke up because I couldn’t stand in front of him seeing and having just half of what, one day, I had complete.
    I’m looking forward for one day that never comes. Either the day we’ll be back again, to be whoever we can be, or the day when I shall dry all the tears and see that only love was left. Maybe, then, we can be back to each other. But I know that when the day comes, the only thing I’ll care about will be see hes face calm, his mind clean, and his heart wide open, for who or whatever.